Vows and Promises

How important is your word? Do people trust that you will do what you say (even if it is to your own hurt)? When you promise something, do others expect you to follow through, or not? Few in America today have solid integrity. One's word is viewed by all as important, but not lived out by many with consistency. In yesterday's readings for Mass we are told about a man in ancient Israel named Jephthah. He made a vow and then later realized that it was rash and led to disaster. He technically could have broken his word and avoided the disaster, but he followed through even though it caused him pain and grief and even caused the death of his daughter.

That is certainly an extreme example, but that does not mean it is "too extreme" and that we can ignore it. It means that we are to take the lesson seriously. We all know, down deep, whether people truly trust us. If we have broken people's trust, it will be evident to most, and that should make us want to fix that. Trust cannot be restored quickly, but it can be restored eventually.

We moderns do not think much of "vows" or "oaths" except in legal courts, or sacraments. We prefer to use the word "promise" but it is essentially the same thing. If we promise something we are vowing to follow through with the promise. In one place, Jesus says we should not "swear by anything". He is trying to teach us not to make our word seem more trustworthy if we attach something to it (like, "I swear on my mother's grave I'll pay you back the money"). Our word should sufficient, but it will not be so if our character is destroyed by our failure to follow through with what we say.

So then, if you promised something, even without using the word "promise" (like as in, "I really will do it this time"), and it turns out to be hard for you to fulfill your word, what do you do? Ignore it? Try to squeeze out of it? Claim that you never really promised? Or do you, like Jephthah in the reading from the book of Judges, follow through even to your own hurt? What an amazing example that would give to others if we fulfilled all our promises; even the ones that cause us harm!