Tricking Children

I happened to hear a radio show the other day. On it, a "licensed" professional Catholic counselor told about a "trick" he came up with to get kids to obey, and he said "it really works"! The show's hosts sounded excited to hear this new idea. He then explained that when children disobey, that if the parent "jokes with them" and tells silly stories about the sin it makes it easier for the child to listen to the parent when he tells a better way to behave.

Now, I am all behind the idea of parents being pleasant when they correct their children (we do not want to come across as monsters). Yet, should we be "tricking them" into listening to us? "Bait and switch" is not a godly parenting method. Is it merely a matter of who is sneakier and who can come up with the best way to "one up" the other? Sadly, many Catholic parents today have been fooled into thinking this way. Never once did the "counselor" say that the parent needs to obey the Scriptures and teach the children how to obey. Never once did he say that parents should command their children to obey.

One of the hosts, after he gave his explanation of this "trick" even said, "you're not advocating that parents give up their authority for the sake of fooling the children right?" The question sounded like it shocked the counselor; his response made it clear he rarely thinks about parental authority. Sad; very sad. Tricks are wrong and they are counterproductive to the child's spiritual health. Parents are commanded in Scripture to teach their children to obey, and how to obey. Children are commanded to "obey your parents in the Lord for this is right".

Nowhere are parents even given the impression that they are supposed to trick their children into listening to instruction and doing what is right. That type of action is comparable to bribing the child with candy. What do children learn if you trick them? They learn to manipulate people to get what they want! What do children learn if you teach them to obey? They learn the authority structure that God created for the family and for the world. They also grow to appreciate what God has created and take comfort and security in the gifts of God.