A lawsuit was filed recently by the law firm of Mephistopheles, Beelzebub and Beelzebub for an unnamed plaintiff (though sources have evidence that it is a particular American politician) against The Lord Jesus Christ for unfair business practices; it is alleged that King Jesus has been using racist tactics for admission into His eternal abode (otherwise known as "Heaven" by those who have permanent residence therein). The lawsuit requires that He step down as CEO and allow each person to make their own admission policy, thereby giving complete and total freedom to anyone and everyone to decide everything for themselves, and thus enter "Heaven" on their own terms (which is claimed by the lawsuit to be the one and only inalienable right of every human--except those who disagree). They also cite punitive damages in the amount of 666 zillion American dollars. The defendant in the case has not yet responded to accusations, but it is hoped that He might be able to settle out of court (other sources say it is likely that He will call upon the services of legal counsel from the firm of Michael, Gabriel and Raphael). If not, the right honorable Judge Susie Q. Hubris (a founding member of the American Solipsist's Society) has agreed to hear the case. More information will follow as it becomes available to us.
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