The Joys of Celibacy

I was speaking to someone about priestly and religious celibacy a while ago. He could not seem to understand the point for celibacy. I appeared to him as though the only reason the Church would require celibacy is because it does not want anyone to have fun (seriously!). I tried to get across to him the idea of self-sacrifice and the fact that the Church values sexuality as long as it is within the boundaries of the commandments of God. He still did not get it.

After pondering that conversation, it became clear to me that it was not the issue of the spiritual and physical commitment that celibates make that he had a hard time with. Rather, it was that he was ignorant of what sexuality was, and therefore he was essentially blind to the idea of celibacy. He knew celibacy existed, but he could not make sense of it. This was because he believed that sexuality should be completely free. Any two "consenting adults" should be able to engage in sexual activity without anyone forcing any restrictions on their pleasure. When looked upon this way his confusion makes more sense.

Celibacy makes perfect sense only to those who understand that sexuality is gravely sinful outside of the boundaries of a good and holy marriage of one man and one woman. Celibacy seems completely ridiculous to those who are comfortable with fornication, adultery, sodomy, and a host of other sexual perversions. We have to understand that sexual activity is a great blessing to a husband and wife (even if they are unable to have children, or are past the age). If we can see it that way, then we will be much more sympathetic to the idea of everyone outside of marriage abstaining from sexual activity. From there it is easy to grasp the idea that someone would willingly take a vow to remain celibate for his entire life.

I believe it was Friedrich Nietzsche who said that only crazy people thought celibacy was a virtue. In saying this he reveals his prejudices. He believes that sexual activity should have no boundaries. Seeing what sexual promiscuity has done to every society where it has been allowed (like ours!), it should be clear that only those who are crazy would think that celibacy is not a virtue. Why would anyone knowingly seek something that brings pleasure at the cost of the stability of an entire society?

Those who choose marriage in the manner that Christ expects know that they are making a sacrifice. It is a sacrifice to spend your life loving and forgiving a spouse and helping that person to get to Heaven, and nurturing and disciplining children so that they can go there as well. Those who choose celibacy know that they also are sacrificing the joys of marriage for another joy of purity. Each calling needs sacrifice, and each calling is specially protected by God and His Church.

When we can see sexuality within the boundaries that God commands, then we can see it as a great blessing that should be protected and encouraged. Few (if any) today would say that sex is a necessary evil (though some in the past did). Yet it is also true (sadly) that few would say that celibacy is a wonderful good. Self-control, and the willingness to give up one temporal joy for a greater eternal joy is always a good thing, and we should value it and support it. May God bless everyone who has chosen this great virtue for the sake of the rest of us.