Refusing to Forgive

Taking encouragement from the quote I put up yesterday, someone once said to me, "I cannot forgive him for what he did to me". As I have done many times in my years as a priest, I counseled him on the fact that Jesus warns us that if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven by God (remember, we say it in the Our Father every time). He responded and said, "I know that, but what he did was just too much to forgive."

So, according to our Lord, unforgiveness is not forgiven by God; ever. With all the sins that He forgives (and as a Confessor, I have heard just about everything -- God really does forgive a lot of awful sins), He has the grace to help us forgive others. When it comes down to it, lack of forgiveness is not ever something that is out of our control. We can choose to forgive others, but our pride is what gets in the way.

We resist forgiveness because we are upset that we have been treated wrongly by someone, and we hold back that forgiveness because we think it makes us feel better. It never does. Lack of forgiveness always makes us bitter and causes us to lose all joy and hope in our lives. Whenever we hold on to an offense, we do it to our own detriment (and eventually our own damnation!).

This means that if a person is refusing to forgive someone (anyone) and that person comes to the confessional and confesses everything else, but withholds that sin of unforgiveness, then his confession is invalid. You may fool the priest, but you cannot fool God. Furthermore, if you receive communion in that state of sin, then you add another sin on top of your sin of refusing to forgive. Do not let that become your state in life (and if it already is, then go to confession as soon as possible--call a priest and ask for an appointment for confession if you need to).

Our precious Lord knows how to forgive, and He is willing to help us forgive, but we need to be willing to humble ourselves before Him and let go of the offense. We need to ask Him to soften our hearts enough so that we can grant a true and genuine forgiveness to all who have wronged us. It is an essential part of the path to holiness. Do not let anyone else's sin cause you to commit a sin that keeps you in a state of unforgiveness. In the end, if the person who offended you repents, he could end up in Heaven and you in Hell; think about that.