Reasons Not to Attend Mass

As a priest, people admit all kinds of things to me; and I am not referring to confession. I recall once (about 10 years ago) hearing someone explain why he had missed Mass the previous Sunday. The explanation was so complicated and confusing that I was sure that it had to be true because no one could possibly make it up. I thought about that again today and it reminded me of a true gem I came across a while back. Imagine if we took the most common excuses given by people who refuse to go to Mass and applied them to another area of life; like taking a shower. Here is the result:

Reasons I never take a shower:

1) I was forced to shower as a child.

2) People who shower are hypocrites. They think they are cleaner than everyone else.

3) There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one was right.

4) I used to shower, but it got boring so I stopped.

5) I shower only on special occasions, like Easter and Christmas.

6) None of my friends shower.

7) I’m still young. When I’m older and have gotten a bit dirtier, I might start showering.

8) I really don’t have time to shower.

9) The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.

10) People who make soap are only after your money.

11) I get along very well without showering.

12) I work hard all week and am too tired to take a shower on the weekend.

13) The first bar of soap I ever used gave me a rash, so I haven’t gone near soap since.

Yeah . . . I think you get the idea.

Go to Mass; Jesus wants to see you. (Also, since it's Lent, go to confession; Jesus wants to forgive you!)