Not the Precepts of the Church

1. You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor, unless you have either a really good paying job, or a really stressful job. Of course, in those cases, money is more important than your eternal soul.

2. You shall confess your sins at least once a year, unless you had a bad experience in the confessional and don't want to have to go through that again. In that case, God will just let you in Heaven with all your sins; no big deal!

3. You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season, but if you receive the Eucharist every time you go to Mass without ever going to confession, then just go ahead and ignore the fact that this precept emphasizes a cautious and profound reverence in the reception of the Eucharist.

4. You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church, but not if you don't want to; after all, we're not trying to be legalistic or pushy about this. As a matter of fact, isn't all that fasting stuff a bit too medieval?

5. You shall help to provide for the needs of the Church; that is, if you have a seven figure income, otherwise, just wish the Church well and say a prayer that the needed finances will fall out of the sky right into the priest's hands (isn't that how it usually works?).