No Special Priveleges

Have you ever wanted something special in your parish? I do not mean the ordinary "special" things that a priest can do for you (like blessing a rosary, hearing your confession on a moment's notice, or visiting you in your home), but something beyond the norm. Have you ever wanted something done a certain way at Church, and felt that you had a "right" to it? That is a very dangerous place to be in for anyone.

When priests make decisions for their parish, they are to do so with the greatest good in mind. Sometimes people might want something special and the priest cannot give it because it has a larger impact than the person requesting it might realize. Maybe someone wants the priest to make a certain announcement at Mass, or someone might want to have a certain duty in the church, or another person might ask for the time for Mass to be changed. These things might all seem somewhat harmless if the person asking does not have all the facts.

Things like these have a greater impact than can often be seen by the layman in the pew. As the priest is in connection with his whole parish (or at least is supposed to!), and he is giving weight to the needs of all, his decisions sometimes do not make sense to everyone, and he often cannot give the explanation that people want because some of the information he uses to make decisions is private. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to make a decision hoping that no one would ask why, because if they did, I could not answer clearly enough to satisfy their question (having authority is sometimes a real bummer).

The leadership of the local parish is granted to the priest for a reason. He is (usually) in possession of all the facts (both public and private) and is better able to decide what is best for the larger community. A single individual who is not the priest may think he knows what is best, but his limited knowledge quite often can ruin the choice he makes. People always think that they know more than they do, and so they presume their desires to be the best possible course of action.

I once had someone ask for something at church. It was not really a big thing, and it was technically possible for it to happen. Yet, I knew the consequences of granting the request, and the numerous problems that it would cause, and so I had to say no. The individual was upset (and I believe still is today) that I said "no" because this person thought that he had a special right to get what he wanted. I pray for him regularly and ask God to show him his mistake. There is no member of the parish who has any reason that he should believe himself to deserve special favors; no one always gets what they want, even the priest. The Church is structured a certain way, and the hierarchy of the parish is intended to maintain that structure.

Therefore, do not be afraid to ask the priest when you want something special, but do not think that he is obligated to grant it (no matter how important you may think it is). It may very well be the case that he cannot do so and yet may be unable to explain himself (which Canon Law says he does not have to do!). Your request might even be contrary to the rules of the Church. Trust God to take care of you, and do not get upset when you do not get your way. Even if the priest does not make the best call (and that does happen), God is not hindered from bringing about the best outcome. Your trust in Him in difficult times might be exactly what He is wanting from you!