Choosing Martyrdom

Most Catholics are willing to be martyrs for Christ. Most will say something like, "I sure hope I don't have to be martyred, but I will accept it if God calls me to that." There is nothing wrong with that attitude; it is good and noble to be willing to give one's life for Christ. If someone genuinely wanted to be martyred (at least in the modern age, with our current sensibilities) there might be something unstable about them mentally. There was a time when people saw things differently about martyrdom, but that is not today.

That said, we have to qualify the willingness to be martyred. It is not good and noble to limit the ways to be martyred. I will use myself as an example. There are a few ways of dying that cause me extra discomfort (I am not going to list them--but God already knows what they are). It would be self-serving for me to tell the Lord, "I'm willing to die in these five ways, but not those two". In fact, to humble me, God might very well choose one of those "unacceptable" ways for me to die. He would not, of course, do it out of spite, but to show me (and anyone else who knew about it) that He can still take care of us even in the midst of the worst sufferings.

Now, take this truth and extend it to our daily sufferings. I know of many Catholics who are aware of the Church's teaching on suffering (which, since it is connected to Christ's sufferings, is very profound and detailed), but still want to be able to choose how to suffer. It would be comparable to me telling God, "I'm willing to suffer by having to eat lima beans (which I really do not like), but not willing to suffer with cancer". Yeah, no; it does not work like that. We can be willing to suffer (and should be so), but we cannot try to be in charge of how we suffer; only God knows what we need the most.

We cannot pick our form of martyrdom, nor can we pick our form of sufferings that come short of martyrdom because, being prideful, we would always pick what fits with our own inclinations. That is up to God, and so we must accept that He alone chooses those things. We must accept the fact that God knows whether something that we "cannot accept" is precisely what we must accept. I think of the recent floods in Texas, and knowing of the many children that died in that tragedy. I am sure no one chose to die that way, or to lose loved ones that way. Yet, in some fashion (beyond our finite minds) God can use this for their good, if they will just submit to Him. And, He can do the same for you.