Needs (1)

Men and women may do similar things at times, but men and women need different things. This is the way God created us, and it is the way He wants us to live. If we acknowledge our creation (and therefore our Creator) we are acknowledging also that there is a certain manner in which God created us. Once we are aware of that, then we can grow in our understanding of the very order of creation and our place in it.

There are higher obligations for both men and women than these things I am going to list, but because they are equal for both men and women they do not qualify for these two lists. Both men and women need to worship God, but their worship of God (no matter how similar it may appear to be to one another) does not distinguish them as male and female (they both pray, they both genuflect, they both sing, they both receive grace from God, etc.).

Men need to do two basic things in their lives. First, they need to protect. This is fundamental to a man's well being. Men were created to be the protectors, and they must be performing deeds of protection in some way, or they will fail to thrive. Some men protect in their vocation (police, doctors, etc.), some protect in their private lives (husbands protect wives and children, monks protect their fellow monks), but all have this need. Men who refuse to protect (anything or anyone) will always degenerate into a radically selfish malcontent; their only desire in life is to protect self (and that does not satisfy the need to protect things).

Second, men also need to take risks. This is second only to the need to protect. Men will take risks in many and various ways. These risks need to be somewhat dangerous, and they also need to be chosen. A forced risk does carry the sense of sacrifice, it only brings a sense of vague accomplishment; important, but not the same thing. Some men will take these risks in their vocations (soldier, rescue team, pilot), while others choose risks in their private lives (rock climbing, martial arts).

Both of these areas in men's lives are tied to what it means to be a man, and they both provide a sense of victory over challenge that every man needs for his spiritual well being. Some men will avoid protecting others and taking risks because they have been raised to be cowards. They want everything neat and tidy and safe. These men are effeminate, and need to learn to overcome their "sissy" behavior; it is not what they were created for. Not every man needs to be on the bomb squad (thank God!), but men who refuse to behave like men because they are filled with fear are rejecting their calling before God.

There are also some men who mistakenly think that they can satisfy these needs through simulated means. Both the idea of protecting and risk are found in many men's video games. They play the soldier who saves the town; risk and protection. The problem is that everyone (even the man playing the game) knows that no one is really protected and there is no real risk; they are just sitting on their couch in the safety of their homes. It is not wrong to enjoy a game, even video (assuming it is not promoting immorality or violence as a moral good), but these things will not satisfy the needs that a man has as a man. He must protect, and he must risk; it is what it means to be a man.

Tomorrow: the two needs of women...