As Christ Loves Them

Husband: This is not a democracy; I have to make the final decision.

Wife: Yes dear. Here is my advice...

(later)

Husband: You can do that yourself, can't you?

Wife: You reminded me that this is not a democracy; may I remind you that neither is it egalitarian?

Husband: Yes dear. Thank you for loving me.

Many men are aiming today at being faithful to the Catholic teaching about family and marriage order (no, I will not call it "traditional", since that makes it sound like there are multiple options for a Catholic family to be structured--there is only one--go look at what the Trent Catechism says about husbands and wives if you doubt me, please). This is a good thing, and these same men are quick to remember that it is not structured as a democracy where a "free-for-all" vote is used to make decisions. What they need to be quick to remember (even more quickly) is that as Catholics we are also not egalitarians.

In other words, if the man is the head of his household and is taking proper godly responsibility for the physical and spiritual well being of his wife and children (sacrificing himself for them daily), then he also must not treat them like there is some "we are all equal, so you do it yourself" underlying rule. Leadership means responsibility. That means that men need to learn to show love to their wives "as the weaker sex" (as Pope Peter commanded! -- see 1 Peter 3:7). Men, as you lead, be responsible leaders. Men, make sure that all you do as "head of the household" reflects the headship of Christ and properly respects women as women and children as children. Men: love them as Christ loves them.